Embracing the Mess: Grace One Day at a Time

Life always throws us curveballs, and nothing rarely goes exactly as planned. But that’s okay—sometimes the best thing we can do is embrace the mess and take it one day at a time. I’m Bryan Wempen, and I want to share my story of hitting rock bottom, clawing my way out of addiction, and stepping into advocacy. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. And through that struggle, I found my new "normal."

Fifteen years ago, my life was in complete chaos—addiction and depression had taken over, impacting not just me, but everyone and everything around me. My work, relationships, and self-worth were all unraveling. It took reaching the lowest point to realize I had to change. But here’s the thing: redefining normal wasn’t just about getting sober. It was about transforming my mindset and figuring out who I wanted to be moving forward.

I learned that society’s version of "normal" can be incredibly limiting. It prescribes what success should look like and how you’re supposed to live your life. But I quickly realized that those ideals wouldn’t work for me. Recovery was about creating a new, healthier version of normal—one where I wasn’t just surviving but thriving.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned? It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. I used to think that taking care of myself was selfish, but I’ve understood that self-care is essential if you work for others. It’s like they say on airplanes—put your oxygen mask on first. You can’t help anyone if you’re running on empty.

The journey hasn’t been smooth, and there have been setbacks along the way. That’s just part of the process. Some days you feel like you’re making strides, and others, you’re stuck in the mud. But the key is to keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

To help with this, I’ve adopted a few daily practices that keep me grounded:

• Meditation: I take 10 minutes every morning to meditate. It doesn’t have to be complicated—just a quiet space where I can focus on my breathing, prayers, or simple words of affirmation. Starting the day with this practice helps me feel centered and calm, giving me the clarity to approach the day with intention.

• Writing: Journaling has become a cornerstone of processing my emotions and tracking my progress. Even if it’s just a few lines, writing down my thoughts allows me to release stress and stay connected with what’s going on inside.

• Exercise or Movement: Whether it’s a short walk, a stretch, or a full workout, movement is essential for staying balanced. On tough days, it’s tempting to skip it, but even a 15-minute walk can shift my mindset and help me break through the fog.

If you’re going through something difficult, remember this: you don’t have to be perfect. Life is a work in progress, and redefining what success means to you is okay. Every day is a chance to show up, try again, and create a life that feels true to you, not what others expect you to be.

Ultimately, what matters most is living authentically and showing up for yourself, even in the messy moments. Life isn’t perfect, but that’s where the growth happens—one imperfect day at a time.

-Bryan