Fitness Isn’t Linear: It’s a Fight Worth Repeating

The Ongoing Fight With Fitness (And Why I Keep Stepping Back Into the Ring)

Fitness and I have never had a clean, linear relationship.

We’ve broken up more times than I can count. I’ve sworn I was “done for good,” only to come crawling back months later, stiff, frustrated, and wondering how things got so bad again. When I’m in good shape, life feels lighter. When I’m not, everything costs more—mentally, physically, emotionally.

And yet, somehow, I always forget how bad it feels to be on the wrong side of it.

The High of Being Fit

When I’m in a good rhythm—moving regularly, eating halfway decent, sleeping better—everything clicks just a little more easily.

• My energy is steadier.

• My mind is clearer.

• My patience stretches further.

I don’t feel invincible, but I feel capable. I wake up without that low-grade exhaustion humming in the background. Stress still shows up, but it doesn’t immediately knock me flat. I think better. I write better. I respond instead of react.

That’s the version of me that says, This time I’ve figured it out.

The Slide Backward

Then life happens.

Deadlines pile up. Travel disrupts routines. One missed workout turns into a week. One bad week turns into a month. I tell myself I’m just “taking a break,” but deep down I know what’s happening.

Fitness doesn’t disappear overnight. It erodes quietly.

My body stiffens. My sleep degrades. My mood shortens. Mentally, the fog creeps back in. I start needing more caffeine just to feel normal. Small problems feel bigger than they should.

And the worst part? I convince myself this is just how things are now.

The Mental Cost of Being Out of Shape

When I’m not fit, my brain works against me.

Focus fractures more easily. Information feels heavier to process. I jump between tasks without finishing them. Creativity feels forced instead of fluid. It’s like running everything through a system bogged down with unnecessary drag.

That’s when I start bargaining.

• I’ll get back to it next week.

• I just need things to calm down first.

• I don’t have the energy right now.

The truth is brutal and simple: I don’t have the energy because I stopped moving.

Stepping Back Into the Fight

Eventually, something snaps—not dramatically, but quietly. I get tired of feeling dull. Tired of dragging myself through the day. Tired of pretending I’m fine when I’m not.

So I step back into the ring.

Not with some heroic, all-or-nothing plan. Just with a decision: We’re doing this again.

The first workouts are humbling. Everything hurts. My lungs complain. My ego takes a hit. There’s a voice in my head asking why I let it get this bad again.

But I show up anyway.

The Middle Ground Nobody Talks About

There’s an awkward middle phase that doesn’t get enough attention.

You’re not fit yet—but you’re not completely wrecked either. You’re sore but sharper. Tired but sleeping better. The scale might not move, but your mind does.

This is where discipline matters more than enthusiasm.

Because the novelty is gone, and the payoff hasn’t fully arrived. This is where most people quit. This is where I’ve quit before. Now, I treat this phase like a negotiation with myself. No heroics. No punishment. Just consistency.

Fitness as Mental Armor

The biggest shift wasn’t physical—it was psychological.

Being fit gives me margin. It gives me resilience. It gives me a buffer between stress and collapse. When my body is supported, my mind doesn’t have to fight as hard to keep things together.

I don’t expect fitness to fix everything. But I know what happens when I ignore it—and I don’t like that version of my life.

Accepting the Cycle (Without Surrendering to It)

Here’s the truth I finally accepted: this fight doesn’t end.

There will be seasons where I’m strong and dialed in. There will be seasons where I fall off and have to rebuild. The win isn’t avoiding the cycle—it’s shortening the time it takes to come back.

Fitness isn’t a destination. It’s maintenance. It’s choosing not to drift too far before correcting course.

Why I Keep Coming Back

• I come back because I think better when I move.

• I come back because my mental health depends on it.

• I come back because energy is built, not discovered.

And I come back because every time I don’t, life feels smaller.

This is the fight I’ve decided not to quit—even when I lose rounds. Especially then.

Keep Going!

Bryan